To You
by xArurie
Summary: The tired pawn looks back on his short life, trying to focus on the existence it revolved around. What a wonderful world it would be, if only I could reach you.
1. Before His End

To You,

I can't help but reflect on that pivotal day: the day we met.

I never could pinpoint why time seemed to move as though fighting its way through some unseen force.

Until now.

For a long time, that day was my everything. It was my best day, it was my worst day.

That day, _was_.

Until I could only relive it. Over and over, we met. A makeshift pawn pretending to be a knight.

I can remember other things, too. The taste of iron as my skull threatened to break from _everything. _

Everyone wanted me dead, or so I thought.

They sure weren't holding back, though.

I can remember the force, and the first time I felt it. My veins turned to ice as my blood went cold from the contempt of my captors. If only they would make sense. Why, why was nothing making sense? If only I could just _make _them make sense.

I didn't realize what was happening as he screamed.

From that moment on, I utilized my pain towards anyone who would give chase. Without fail, always receiving some for myself.

It hurt.

It hurt _so_ much. So much that dying would have been easy. Too easy.

I almost envied them as I twisted their bodies: their warped forms frozen in my mind.

They're with me, just as you are. Frozen, like I was. Like I have been.

It's given me a lot of time to think. About you, mainly. At least, I try. They're most of _my_ good memories.

I've spent more time remembering you than knowing you.

I wish-_I _wish that had been me. Even now, even after his end, I wish I could have been him.

But you said that didn't matter to you. _I _was him.

But I'm not.

I mean, It would have been nice to have had a family who cared about me, and a precious friend. It would have been so nice.

My 'family' consisted of the Queen of our match, and the rest of her pawns. She liked to think of herself as the player, I'm sure, but she fell victim to the game all the same.

Her end came from a pawn, no less. Over and over and over and over in my never-ending day.

That's almost funny, really. But mostly, I wish we could all start over.

You, me, and even my 'siblings'.

Had we met under different circumstances, I could say that I knew you.

I came close. I heard your call and kept you near. You were the first thing about my world that made sense.

Of course I should protect you: you were my friend.

Even when I found out that was a lie, as my foundation of being crumbled, you kept me with you.

Regardless of everything else, you believed in me. Whether it was blind devotion to _him_, or simply having no better choices, that was all I needed.

I would live for you. I would die for you.

Because dying was so easy.

Funny that was so wrong. If I had been aware of the loop, could I have known you in more ways?

Each scenario giving rise to new dimensions of your personality, your interests and our dynamic.

An eternity of suffering might not be so bad, then.

That only day of my life finally ended.

A second chance?

If only.

You were different. I hadn't even known the first you, and suddenly you were different.

And yet reassuringly the same.

One last day, and we could finally…

But then, another eternity. This time, no repeats.

It was only a second to me.

You're still waiting there for me, from my sense of time.

Waiting for our real chance.

But now I know the truth.

Where you really are…

You went to where _he_ is.

I wonder…

As I wait here, I can only wonder.

Your voice surrounds me, granting a final comfort like my first 'end'.

This is definitely it, though. There's no going back.

I don't want there to be, really.

My existence was grounded by yours.

Maybe that's why I could never die, before.

Maybe that's why this is it.

As I wait and listen to what I'm sure is your call, I wonder-

Could _I_ reach where you are, too?


	2. Before Her End

To You,

I've known you for as long as I can remember. Our dads were always working together, so as soon as I can recall _being_, I can recall _you_.

Your house was my favorite place to go. It was nestled in the quiet woods away from the noise of the city where we lived. You and I would often explore its depths, hiding and chasing in the parts we came to know. I always won at hide and seek, not that you minded. After our games, you would just smile and declare that the next time, you'd be sure to find me.

Before you could, we had to leave. Papa made my head hurt, and when I woke up, he told me that I couldn't see you for a while. It was a long while.

In some ways, I never saw you again.

Did you know? I left my favorite doll there for you to find.

If you knew, you figured out my best hiding spot. You finally found me.

Only _you_ didn't.

Ever since papa did whatever he did to me, I could speak to people without my voice.

I would often call out to you, but you never answered. Until now.

Telepathy means that two minds are connected. Whenever you feel pain, I feel pain.

And you _felt _pain. Once you answered, everything hit me all at once. My head felt like it was going to explode, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. My body was shaking from being cold and yet, I was sweating. My throat became so horribly dry, but the cravings I felt weren't for any sort of sustenance. No. It was for something I couldn't place.

When the link ended, the pain subsided, but my body was just left exhausted. I had to repeat this process intermittently, finding a new hiding place, calling you and then waiting, motionless and weak.

I remember seeing you for the first time. My head was pounding, but I forced myself to move to meet you. We had been linked, so I knew the kind of pain you were carrying. And yet, you walked with little difficulty. You even held me up as my body failed me.

I couldn't believe you could be so strong. You couldn't possibly be real. That's how I felt, so I touched your face, just to be sure. You definitely looked like my old friend, but the ordeal seemed to have stolen your smile. Or maybe you lost that at some point between then and now.

I don't think I ever saw you smile again.

Your skin felt rough and you were so pale. You looked as though you hadn't slept in days. Thinking back on it, I probably didn't look much better. That short reunion was, nonetheless, the warmest moment I can remember.

Though I guess for you, we were meeting for the first time.

Even now, I don't know. I woke up, after the first battle, and saw you kill her. You looked tormented, almost, but, you still did it. And, what's more, using the same power…

I followed you, but I began to doubt your motivations. I'm sorry for every moment that I took a step back, or looked at you in a way other than in complete trust. I was just as lost as you.

And then, he appeared. Until that point, you had been nothing but impervious in my eyes. Anyone who could withstand that amount of pain and still function had to be.

When he said that you had already died, I stopped breathing. I wanted the world to stop. But more than anything, I wanted him to stop talking.

"That's a lie," you said in the most weak, petrified voice I'd ever heard. I was afraid. I was absolutely terrified to find out the implications of his words. I quickly apologized to the you in my memories, and tried to save the you of my present.

"He's lying," I shouted. "He's just trying to fool you!" With every fibre of my being, I knew he was right. You were already dead, and _you_ were a Galerian. But that didn't matter. If someone so strong could be made that afraid, your very foundation of self had to be crumbling.

I could be strong for you, too.

"You are Rion," I repeated to you, gently, as many times as you needed.

You never smiled, but your expression was still: a sort of solace. And then, against the wishes of your creator, you saved me. You saved us all. I held you in my arms as your body broke. I expected you to be afraid. I was.

"Please, don't go," I pleaded, already knowing it was painfully useless. "We'll be together," _Again. _

"I'm exhausted, Lilia," you offered me simply. "It's best if I die now."

I had to hold it together. I had to be strong.

"But," you began. "Maybe I am the real Rion, after all."

I wanted to scream at you. _How can you be so stupid? Something like that doesn't even matter. I don't care who you are. You are already so irreplaceably important. _I bit it back. I had to save you in any way I could.

"That's right," I agreed. "You're the real Rion. You're the only Rion in the world," I cried. "So, together…"

You cut me off. "Thank you, Lilia." The look on your face was the closest to peaceful I had ever seen. Your voice was noticeably slower now; weaker. "I'm glad that I met... you."

Your eyes closed.

_No. _"Rion?"

"Rion."

"Rion!"

It never mattered whether you were the same boy whom I'd grown up with or not. Of course none of that mattered. Regardless of your namesake, you had to make the final decision. And you chose to do what I believe he would have done, too. Even though you could have denied it, or even simply walked away.

You would always be this amazing person who gave up everything for people you owed nothing to.

As I held your limp body, staring out at the desolate horizon, I swore to find you.

You'd found me, after all. I had to return the favor.

Not that it ended up being much of a favor. In the end, I just caused you even more pain.

I'm nearing the end, now. It's been two years since you left to meet Ash, with all attempts at retrieval proving futile.

I wonder if this message is reaching you? I really hope that it is. I need you to know.

I wanted the chance to be with you, no matter who you are. I want you to finally be able to have a normal life. A life in which you don't have to question your own identity. A life where you can become comfortable being who you are. A life where you aren't constantly in pain just to survive. A life in which no one mistreats you just for the way you were born.

And more than anything, a life where you can smile.

Don't you know by now? We save each other.

You save me, and I save you.

Now it's my turn again, so, I have to do my best.

I _will_ reach you.


End file.
